Kellie felt her body settle into the chair, really felt it. Felt the pressure of the cushion on her butt. It was a little more firm on the right side than the left. Was that her butt or the cushion? Was one of her butt cheeks more firm than the other? Did it look weird when she wore tight pants? Did she have to reassess the way she was doing her squats?
Stop. She let the thoughts of possible physical imperfections pass over, acknowledging them but not letting them take over her thoughts, just like the meditation app recommended.
She felt her lower back pressed against the chair cushion, maybe a little extra pressure where her love handles protruded. Stop. She felt a bubble in her intestines. What had she eaten? Had she been eating too unhealthy lately? Was it something she drank? Did she need to cut back on the red wine?
Stop. Acknowledge. Release.
She took a deep breath. Inhaled through the nose, followed the breath in, noticed the space where the inhale turns to an exhale, breathed slowly out. She felt her chest and belly expand and contract.
She thought about the call she’d had with her mother that morning. Why couldn’t that woman just accept that she and Brian weren’t ready for kids yet? She was still young. The world was obviously so very dangerous. Just because her mom had abandoned her dreams too early in life didn’t mean…
Stop. Acknowledge. Release.
Kellie followed the breath in. Breathing in. She followed the breath out. Breathing out.
Her chest and belly expanded. Breathing in.
Her chest and belly contracted. She felt the slight tickle of warm air on her upper lip as the air escaped. Breathing out.
She felt the pressure of the headphones on her ears. The foam on the right one was worn out, and she felt the pain of the plastic against her earlobe.
Stop. Acknowledge the external stimulus then release it. Move inward. Just like the meditation app said.
She had mentioned the app to her yoga instructor. Jean was all about meditation and finding your inner strength. “I haven’t heard of that app.” Jean had recommended a couple of other meditation apps, but somehow they didn’t click the same way this one did. “Whatever works for you, Kellie. Just find something that unleashes that inner badass!”
She let the calming voices from the app roll over her and released the thoughts about what had happened to Jean.
Breathing in. Breathing out. Feeling what was on the inside.
She heard the shattering glass. Was that the front window? Was someone breaking into her house? Should she do something?
Stop. Acknowledge. Release.
She felt the tickle on her upper lip as she breathed in, following the breath all the way down to her lungs. She felt the pause at the bottom of the breath. She felt the darkness filling her lungs.
She heard heavy footsteps in the living room. Nobody else was supposed to be in her house, not since what happened to Brian. He was still in the hospital. And the security system was set to be installed in a couple days. Someone had just broken her window and was now walking through her house. The footsteps were closer now. The hardwood floor really carried noise throughout the house. That noise was very frustrating and distracting. Hadn’t she ordered a rug from Wayfair two weeks ago? She needed to check that out and see why it hadn’t arrived yet.
God, it was so easy to get distracted.
Stop. Acknowledge. Release.
She let the voices from the app bring her attention back to the breath. Her lungs relaxed, and she focused on the air escaping. She felt the shadows flowing through her nasal cavity and tickling her upper lip. Breathing out. She was always so easily distracted, never able to focus long enough to find the inner strength and peace. She heard the footsteps stop at the door to the den. The door creaked open. A man’s voice said something. Menacing. Threatening.
Stop. Acknowledge. Release.
Kellie breathed in and felt her chest expand. The shadows flowed through her blood, and she focused on the expansion of her chest. The expansion of her blood. The expansion of her hate. The expansion of her anger. The acknowledgement of her supposed powerlessness, and the expansion of her power. It tickled a little as it passed over her upper lip. She heard a wet pop. She felt the blood sprinkle over her face and shoulders.
Stop. Acknowledge. Release.
She mopped the mess up later. There wasn’t much left but some blood spatter and a few mostly disintegrated organs, bones, and muscles. After that, she called her mom again. It was a pleasant conversation, and it really felt like they connected. She checked the Wayfair website. Turns out, the rug was just delayed in shipment, but would be there in a couple of days.
Jean had been right. Meditation really was a great way to find that inner peace and unleash that inner badass. Kellie had just needed to find the right app.
—END
Author’s Note: I love flash fiction, both reading and writing it. It’s a great way to test out ideas and flex writing muscles that may be underdeveloped. This particular story came from a writing prompt, something about new uses for technology. I’d been using the Calm app for a while, and the idea that a meditation app could unlock something deep and dark and violently magical just felt right.
Copyright 2024 Abram Dress
Something I could legitimately see happening in Boulder County... :)
Good times, you sick @#$@#! ;)